Thoughts on Being Bombu (Part 1)
The following is the first of a two-part series based on a recent Dharma talk that I was honored to present recently at the Los Angeles Hompa Hongwanji Buddhist Temple. I am grateful to be able to reformat it to share with Being Bombu readers.
“My eyes being hindered by blind passions, I cannot perceive the light that grasps me; Yet the great compassion, without tiring, illumines me always.”
The quotation above comes from the Hymns of the Pure Land Masters. It is my favorite of the Wasans and one that we Jodo Shinshu followers see and hear often. Before I share my thoughts on Koso Wasan 95, I want to first start with a bit of gratitude. I want to thank Rimban William Briones and Rev. Hibiki Murakami of the Los Angeles Hompa Hongwanji Buddhist Temple for encouraging me to tackle this topic. One of the perks of being a Minister’s Assistant is that I occasionally get the chance to stand up before my sangha and demonstrate what I think I know with the full realization that I probably do not actually know it. You see, I am learning to embrace the reality that my understanding - like the rest me and the things that I do - are flawed. I am coming to terms with what it means to be what we call “bombu” - a person of blind passions.
In the Wasan that I shared, Shinran Shonin refers to his own eyes as “being hindered by blind passions”. We are often reminded that upon leaving his Tendai monastic life, the Master even renamed himself Gutoku which means “foolish, stubble-headed one”. When I first took an interest in Jodo Shinshu, this concept of my own eyes being clouded by my blind passions was a hard one to grasp. In fact, it reminded me of my Catholic upbringing and constantly being told that as humans, we are sinful creatures. I know, of course, that sin is not a Buddhist concept. So I made it my mission to understand not only what it means to be subject to blind passions myself, but what it means to recognize that everyone around me - all of you - are people of blind passions too.
If you have been following my site here, you know that I use it as a sort of sounding board - a place where I think out loud about and grapple with what I am learning as a Jodo Shinshu practitioner. The name of this site, Being Bombu, was chosen with this purpose in mind and I even added a companion newsletter that goes out to readers who are following my progress. In many ways, this site and all that it entails is a very public admission that I, despite my best efforts, am still and will always be subject to my own endless blind passions and constant imperfections. Further, it is me gathering up the courage to stand up and say that I am actually at peace with that for myself and for others. You may be wondering, however, why I choose to be so publicly bold and vulnerable. Why not just keep my shortcomings to myself? The answer is because I am finally learning to entrust myself - imperfect as I am - to the compassion of Amida Buddha.
As Shinran says in the Wasan, “Yet the great compassion, without tiring, illumines me always.” When you put it in perspective, that is a truly massive thing! Despite all of my G.A.S. (greed, anger, and stupidity) as Dr. Ken Tanaka would say - and believe me, we are all full of it - the great compassion of Amida shines its light on me . . . ON YOU . . . always.
Earlier, I mentioned that when I first heard about blind passions, I was reminded of the sin about which I heard so much growing up Catholic. But where those teachings of my youth often filled me with great fear, what I was hearing from my Jodo Shinshu teachers was actually of tremendous comfort.
The great compassion illumines me always.
Even with all our seemingly endless shortcomings and failings, the Light of Amida’s Compassion still shines on us without ceasing. This is as revolutionary as it is revelatory to me! After all, as a child, I was told that my inability to live a pure life made God angry. I was constantly warned that I needed to work extra hard to live as purely as possible and that I needed to seek His forgiveness every time I slipped up or be forever damned to an eternity of punishment. I am sure you can imagine what that kind of imagery and fear can do to a child - especially one that could not seem to get anything right. In the end, it scared me out of my wits, out of the pew, and right out the door!
Continued in Part 2
