Tired of My Anger
I’ve been angry lately - too much so for my own liking. Some would say that it is hard not to be these days with everything going on in the world. Pandemic, recession, war, resurgent racism, and a pervasive hatred that seems to be rending the very fabric of our shared humanity can all wear on the psyche and soul individually, let alone taken together all at once. No wonder so many in the psych fields, medicine, and even the media are saying that it is “OK not to be OK” right now. While it may explain why I am struggling with such an ugly vibe these days, does all of this excuse the anger that I have been feeling? And is being so angry really doing me or the rest of the world any good? Outside of letting of a little steam, it seems like it definitely is not.
In Buddhism, we consider anger to be one of the “three poisons”, along with greed and ignorance. These, we are taught, form the very basis of the suffering in our world. Being so filled with just one of them was certainly causing me enough anguish. Call it luck, coincidence, or maybe even an act of compassion by the universe, but as I sat down to process my distress, I found myself reading a very helpful article in the Winter 2022 issue of Tricycle. In What’s Wrong with Anger?, Professor Allison Aitken wrote,
Anger is in vogue right now. As the saying goes, if you’re not outraged, you’re not paying attention. But widespread destructive anger is promoting a culture of divisiveness and fostering uncharitable and judgmental attitudes toward our neighbors, colleagues, relatives, and fellow global citizens.
Searching for meaningful ways to get this conflagration under control for herself, Prof. Aitken found guidance in the wisdom of Buddhism’s ancient texts. In particular, she cited the work of India’s Shantideva, 8th-century Buddhist philosopher and author of The Bodhicaryavatara (Guide to the Bodhisattva’s Way of Life). Aitken noted that Shantideva questioned not only anger’s usefulness, but also - perhaps more importantly in my opinion - the lack of rationality on which the emotion is based. Anger, like so many of the other progeny produced by our world of illusion, only further distorts our own perceptions of what is actually happening to or around us. It leads us to thoughts and actions that are usually ill-formed and are harmful to ourselves and others. Think about this from our own experience. How often have we seen anger lead individuals, groups, and even entire nations down a path of needless destruction? I know that I have often acted hastily - even wantonly - in an attempt to assuage my anger and all it has really ever done is create more hurt and collateral damage. Such actions, though misguided, still take great energy to contemplate and even more to execute. Now wonder I have been feeling exhausted!
To combat this poison, Prof. Aitken noted that Shantideva offered a profound antidote. Compassion was his recommended cure, what Aitken called his “non-transactional, non-punitive, non-retributive approach to addressing perceived wrongs” and “an approach that promises to help us step outside the cycle of blame and retaliation and into a discourse that promotes reconciliation and constructive reformation”. Compassion, it seems, is the secret weapon for nipping that bud of anger before it can flower.
But how do we find that kind of compassion when a “wrong” of some kind has been perceived? How do we stop our anger in its tracks? Culling more from Shantideva’s work, Professor Aitken suggested that we pick that wrong apart. In my own temple lately, we have been hearing a lot about “causes and conditions” and “dependent arising”. Nothing arises or suddenly happens in a vacuum. We have to ask ourselves what causes and conditions gave rise to the perceived offense and not just on our end, but in reference to everyone involved. Is letting our anger run rampant going to change any of them? Or is it doing to give rise to newer causes and conditions leading to more offense, more hurt, and more harm? It may seem like a lot to contemplate, but the answer’s pretty simple and immediate and so is the solution.
Of course, this is not the common narrative on which we are raised and educated. Our modern notions of justice and fairness are rooted in anger that is often considered righteous, heroic, and even divinely sanctioned. When we suffer, we want - no, we expect - that others should as well. Often it is the ones who we believe hurt us on whom our anger is focused, but that is not always the case. You know what they say about misery and company. And so the hurt and the suffering continue. Perhaps we all need to get exhausted by our anger, grow so tired of it that even the notion of striking out in thoughts, words, or deeds makes us just want to sit down and reflect. What a wonderful world it would truly be.
Tricycle subscribers can read Professor Aitken’s article here. You can also listen to her talk about Shantideva, anger, and compassion in this podcast.
