Embracing Our Imperfection
Growing up Catholic, one of my greatest fears was dying and going to hell. I was so terrified by its descriptions that I would pray for forgiveness every night before bed just in case I should die in my sleep. I was taught that falling short of God’s expectations was a sure ticket to eternal, fiery torment. Yes, I learned a lot about God’s love and forgiveness as well. But Confession was held once a week at the church and that meant six days of living dangerously in-between.
This burden of living in a state of perfect grace was more than my juvenile psyche could handle. I spent my youth in constant fear of death, hell, and God’s judgment. It would be a lie of omission if I did not say that it keeps me awake some nights even now as an adult. I am no more perfect today than I was back in my younger days. What I am is more cognizant of my failings and the impact they have on others in addition to myself. Age may have brought wisdom, but it has not blessed me with flawlessness. Luckily, my Jodo Shinshu practice and my trust in Amida’s acceptance of me with all of my shortcomings, ignorance, and imperfections is helping me to finally find some peace of mind and spirit (and sleep).
The name of my new blog is “Being Bombu”. The term bombuu and its variants (bonbu, bonpu, bompu) is commonly encountered across the various schools of Buddhism. The general meaning of the term is fairly standard as well, with it being used to describe an ordinary, unenlightened person. In Jodo Shinshu, I believe we take it a little further, acknowledging that the ordinary person is also one who is subject to attachments, misunderstandings, and blind passions (anger, greed, desire, etc.). Only the fully enlightened ones are free of these hinderances and these folks are a truly rare commodity. Suffice it to say that I am bombu and, though I do not mean to judge, probably so are you. And that is A-OK!
Since even a good person can be born in the Pure Land, how much more so will an evil person. — Tannisho, III
The good news is that Jodo Shinshu teaches that Amida’s Primal Vow — to save those beings who are incapable of reaching enlightenment through their own efforts — does not discriminate based on how close to perfection any of us have come. Our founder, Shinran Shonin, was not ashamed of his own short-comings. He often referred to himself as Gutoku, or “stubble-haired foolish one”. Having read so much about and by him, it seems absurd to even think of Shinran-sama as foolish. Yet even he knew he was far from perfect! Shinran, however, also taught that any and all of us can get to the Pure Land simply by entrusting ourselves to the Primal Vow. In its time, this was a radical teaching. Even today its magnanimity remains difficult grasp. In part III of the Tannisho, we read that Shinran was quoted to have said that “[s]ince even a good person can be born in the Pure Land, how much more so will an evil person.” That is bigger than even forgiveness! It is a full-on acceptance — an acknowledgment, if you will — of our limited capacity to perfect ourselves.
Now this should not be interpreted to also serve as a license for people to pursue lives that are wanton, hedonistic, or criminal. If that is what you are taking away from this teaching, you are missing the point. This is not absolution from living with purpose or compassion or from honoring the ways in which all of our lives are interconnected. It is not the proverbial “Get Out of Jail Free” card. There is still a price. In fact, I personally have taken it to be a call to action in those very same areas and obligations. It is a reminder that none of us need to be perfect or enlightened to make an effort or to appreciate these lives we have been given. The heavy lifting has already been done for us. The very least we can do is to embrace our own and each other’s flaws and put our trust in Amida’s promise. Like saying the Nembutsu, it’s a showing of our gratitude for Amida’s most compassionate Vow.
Namo Amida Butsu!
